chark attack!

12 Percent

Lots of stuff going on right now so, I do apologize for the lack of posts. But I did recently upload a crazy Puri! photo of myself about to attack on those cute innocent cows. Mmmmm beef! Which was made in my new fangled iPhone app Puri! Lite (the free version, of course) which is just the state of mind I am currently in. I'd like to be put out to pasture, errr vacation.

So, the running has been slow to come. My shoes are ill-fitting and will hopefully find the right one this Thursday at Sports Basement. See, I have flat feet and I push off my big toes or so that's what I've been told which is not really ideal for running but for walking in flip-flops or barefoot sports like Yoga. But I'm gonna get through it because I have such wonderful supporters like you, oh blog reader YOU!

I'm also excited to announce that I've reached a little over 12% of my fundraising goal! Thank-you oh wonderful friends for donating to this cause! And for the rest of you, it's not too late =)

The exercise ball

About 2 weeks ago, I brought out my old exercise ball which hasn't seen the light of day since 2007, to stretch me out and make me this much more flexible. I didn't really remember any of the exercises on it besides the lame ole' "crunch on the ball" and the most awesome booty enhancing "mule kicks". So, I did what every pasty (except I'm nice and tan from Vegas for now) geek does and googled "ball exercises" where I found my new favorite torture, The Ball Pass.

Sounds a little cheeky and the move is a little like child's play, but come morning your pecs and the area where a six pack will soon lie will feel simply painful and maybe even sore. Here's how to do the move and a video for form:

• Lie on your back holding an exercise ball and lift your feet so your shins are parallel to the floor.
• Lift your head, neck, and shoulders, and place the ball between your legs.
• Now lower your legs and reach your arms back.
• Come back up and grab the ball.
• Continue to pass the ball back and forth from your hands to your legs 10 to 12 times.

As a bonus, do the Plank Pike-Up!

Running Log: Day 02

 I dunno how far I ran, but I ran and then eventually sputtered up Buena Vista Park a la Thomas the Train. You know just the steepest hill I can possibly run up as punishment for eating 1/4 bag of M&M's and 2 Toffifays (thanks to my buddies who ate the rest) the night before at SPAMALOT.

But I came out alive and hopefully, this much more fit (injured?) for the Nike Marathon! Woot!

142 days to go...

Running Log: Day 01

I ran/walked 1.5 miles this cold ass day and I thought my sinuses were going to explode. When I finally had to cut my run short (hence the 1.5 miles) and got inside I Savasana-ed on my mat, but was interrupted by at least ten intermittent sneezes and ear pops. Cold-weather running is gonna take some time to get used to.

Well only 144 days to go until the Nike Women's Marathon.

I've joined a new fad.

Or I'm late in joining this 90210-based fad, but recently I've really gotten into Bikram Yoga also known as "hot-as-balls yoga, you crazy nutso". I never knew I can be this flexible again and in love with something I've kind of avoided for fear of being too stressed out (I like to take my aggressions out in more strenuous and aggressive ways, like drinking and partying). Yeah crazy right? And I even feel "at one" and have nearly felt "at peace" while practicing or during the crazy long naps I take post-yoga shower.

It's great, really! I swear to Jesus! And it's not as intimidating as one might think, but I do wish I had a few precautions before taking it up besides the usual "come hydrated" and "don't eat a heavy meal before class". I wanted to know real precautions so my expectations are more realistic and not such a shock. So, here's my two-cents on what every newbie should know before starting Bikram to look like da' bomb and a bag of Vegan/Gluten-Free/Non-GMO/Trans Fat Free Baked Organic Crisps made with no HFCS:

1. Be aware of the funk. The room is heated up to 105 degrees Fahrenheit with up to 40% humidity with sweaty bodies abound and a carpeted floor. It'll take a class or two for you not to dwell on the stench, but every time you walk through those doors you'll be reminded.
2. Take care of the funk. To avoid foot fungus, spray on some foot odor type spray as a preventative measure about 30 minutes before coming to class. Athlete's foot is common and you never know where those dirty hippies have been. I kid, of course.
3. Freeze your water bottle. Oh don't worry, the icicle you bring in will melt but it'll be cool treat to sip on between poses.
4. Dress like a hoochie, not a hooker. You are gonna feel like a rotisserie chicken just broiling and turning and turning and turning with all of your drips dripping. Okay I'm just hungry, but you're gonna sweat like there's no tomorrow and you're gonna wish you didn't wear anything past your knees, cotton underwear, loose-fitting clothes or sleeves. Wear something with wide bands that wick sweat from the body. Dress for the beach, the one with kiddies running around building sand castles not the nude beach where you turn tricks.
5. Bring a long towel. My first towel was too short and I had move it a bit to the front of my mat for one pose and then, towards the back with another pose. It was annoying and distracting. I recommend a beach towel and if you're commited invest in a non-skid towel.
6. Don't leave the room. It's freaking hot in there and you can't do the poses like everyone else. Who cares? I don't and I bet no one else really notices you, but don't give up and leave the room it'll just be harder to get used to it. Sit down and take a sip of that ice cold water you were so smart to bring in.
7. The big hairy dude will move his arm slightly and you'll get splashed by his man juice. Yes, I'm still talking about Bikram Yoga here and of course, sweat is what I'm referring to. But this will happen one day to you or even once a week if you practice during peak hours. You have been warned.
8. Everyone has been practicing for a really long time. Even the pregnant lady can bend further than me and I bet her baby is going to come out in a lotus pose. It's alright man. You will eventually get the hang of it, just do the poses to your level of ability no one is competing with you, newbie. They are just judging your outfit.
9. Don't fucking come to class late!!! There's always a bitch or two who like to come in right when classes start and then, back their junk up between you and 'super close dude' like we were just waiting for you to arrive. I know I can be a pain, but this is just plain rude. Get some manners man. If the class is full and there's no room, you're out of luck. Hippie town or not.
10. What did they just chant? At the end of class, the instructor says a few parting words and a soothing, "Namaste." which can mean a few different things a la Wikipaedia (I pronounce Wikipedia, "wi-kee-pay-dee-yah". So off tangent.). Feel free to repeat or not, no worries.

Hope these "ten things to know before you Bikram" was helpful and I do hope you enjoy your practice! Namaste.

100 Push Ups

I've been weak sauce especially with boys at work now who can do the heavy lifting for me. I can no longer carry 2 - 48 packs of beer, but soon I will...and possibly even more.

Look Jenn-ay, I'm runnin'!

I'm starting to run again and have decided to forego the gym-bo in me while global warming looms over SF (and really the rest of the world). It has really been a while, a long while. In fact, so long that I am beginning to think that I've never ran outdoors in the Bay Area (except the Bay to Breakers a few years back). I'm more of a indoor sport person with the weather playing tricks on me and my sinuses. But I swear I used to run and re-starting the things that used to come naturally is painful, very. My thighs hate me now, but I keep telling them once we see progress and definition again we are gonna eat cake. I mean jeans so skinny hipsters from Williamsburg will come out west just to take me to happy hour to grab a PBR.

Wednesday was the inaugural day, a re-birth or baptism into fitness. And look it's gonna be a part of me once again I even made a new category on my blog. It's a small step toward a commitment I definitely need to make. I can't cheat on myself again like that. I missed out on a lot because of it and darn it this is the fattest and most out of shape I have ever been. I used to be a hurdler, a sprinter and then, a distance runner. I competed in races, I ran in a club and heck, I biked to my running club in LA! Who the hell does that down there? No one. Okay well except for the hubby.

If you want to get started too, check out Runners World for begginers' tips and map your runs here. Coming soon a polyvore of running clothes you really shouldn't be running in!